


"It's Not My Fault You Don't Like Girls"

by mothdotjpeg



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Confessions, First Kiss, Friendship, Heartbreak, Love, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rewrite, gay in the 80s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-31 07:55:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21121844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothdotjpeg/pseuds/mothdotjpeg
Summary: Scene Re-write from Season 3





	"It's Not My Fault You Don't Like Girls"

“It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” The rain was coming down hard outside, and Mike could see the goosebumps on his friend’s bare arms. He noticed them because he was avoiding looking at Will’s face. They had been staring at each other, yelling, and Mike didn’t want to feel the guilt. But he did feel the guilt. Filling up his chest and lungs, making his breath hitch in his throat. There was the sound of heaving breathing, Will trying to catch his breath. Like he has been punched and was unable to get enough air. He should apologize.   
“I’m not trying to be a jerk-” He was. That was the guilt, building even more. Not once had Mike tried to hurt Will, he knew why he said it, he knew it was going to be hurtful. But it hurt, to see the pained look in Will’s eyes. Will didn’t like girls. He never had. And Mike knew that he was insecure about, although Will had never admitted it. “Okay?” Will was staring at Mike, and he couldn’t figure out what emotions laid behind his friend’s eyes. He was looking at Will again. His best friend. Moments ago he had been in his Will the Wise costume, excitedly leading Mike and Lucas on his new campaign. Mike shouldn’t have joked, he should’ve just sat back down and played the game. But he didn’t want too. He couldn’t just sit and play pretend when he wasn’t sure how or what El was doing or feeling.   
“But we’re not kids anymore,” He had forgotten about El, his entire mind filled with worry about Will. And for a moment he stuttered, this was the same feeling. The panic and guilt settled in his chest for fighting with Will were the same, maybe worse, than how he felt about being dumped by El. Maybe it’s because El inflicted this on Mike, and now he was hurting Will. Why did this hurt? He was just telling the truth. “I mean, what did you think? Really?” That we were never going to get girlfriends? That we were just going to sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?” He hated seeing this look on Will’s face. For the past year, he had done nothing but protect and stay with Will. Mike just wanted a break this summer, to be with El. A distraction from the contast hurt and chaos that Will brought.   
“Yeah, I guess I did. I really did.” His friend’s voice broke him. There was something in Will, a sad confidence. Almost like. Heartbreak?   
They stood in silence. Will just wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons with his friends. He just wanted to draw with his crayons and lay awake on Mike’s floor talking. And that made Mike’s heart hurt. There was a part of him that wished they could go back to that. But now, playing D&D made Mike remember the night Will disappeared. He had shoved all of Will’s drawing into a box in his closet, the drawings reminding him of the Shadow Monster. Mike hadn’t been to the Byers’ in ages, the walls filled with the darkness that crept into all their interactions. He wanted his friend to be okay. But he couldn’t be reminded of the past.   
“I really thought we’d stay the same. But I guess I’m too fucked up, aren’t I?” Now, Will was being the jerk. He wasn’t wrong. Mike’s eyes were on his face, seeing the tears in his eyes, his pale skin, the cold of the rain making his cheeks pink.   
“Will, no I don’t-” Mike’s eyes filled with tears. “-feel that way. I, you don’t,”   
“Understand?” His friend was staring at him like Mike was the only thing on earth. “All I do is watch you pity me. I understand, Mike. Let me grow up at my own rate, god. I’m sorry! That I died. That I caused you to worry. That I saw visions and was burned from the inside out. I’m sorry that I want to play D&D, and that I don’t like girls, and that I’m stuck in the past. When I didn’t throw up Demogorgons into my bathroom sink, and when I’m not the odd one out. I’m sorry that I don’t want to grow up if it means I’m not the best thing that has happened to you.” Will was crying now. And when he finished, he let out a silent sob. Mike just stood there watching him, his chest heaving, his eyes gushing rivers. The rain outside looked lighter that Will’s tears. Which made the guilt in Mike’s chest burst and he stepped forward to wrap Will up in his arms. But Will put his hand up to stop him.   
“Will, I-” Mike couldn’t figure out what to say. “I don’t pity you.” His hands were hanging in the air, still open. What an idiot. Will was wiping his tears away, sniffing heavily. The rain slowed, but thunder shook the air around them. The air was silent as Will choked on something.   
“I don’t pity you. You shouldn’t feel sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” In a second his arms were wrapped around Will as his friend crushed into him. His face buried in Mike’s shoulder. Will was shorter than Mike, and his wet face was pressed into Mike’s collarbone. It hurt, but Mike just held Will tight. A soft pitter-patter of rain filled the chilly evening air, along with the quieting sobs of Will. Mike didn’t cry, he just stood there, unsure of what to do. Then Will stepped back, wiping his eyes again. He looked unsure too, but there was some type of fear in his face. Panic rose in Mike’s chest.   
“Will, is something wrong?” Aside from the obvious, but Will knew what Mike meant. “You can tell me, okay? You can always tell me. I’m so fucking sorry, what I said was stupid. I’m sorry for being so shitty recently, but if something’s happening again you can tell me okay?” The guilt was comfortable in his chest now, but Mike was panicking now. Hadn’t Will been fine? He should’ve noticed if he hadn’t been. Had he been too busy with El to notice?   
“So I have to be possessed by a shadow monster for you to focus on me? Mike, it’s not that. I, I just-” Mike punched Will in the arm, and his friend winced.   
“Holy shit, I thought it was something serious, don’t scare me like that!” Will stepped back again, looking around. That made Mike feel panic again for a second, maybe it was still serious. “What is it, Will?” The look in his eyes wasn’t scared, just sad. That heartbroken look again.   
“I- I don’t like girls, Mike.” The guilt was replaced with confusion. Will looked somewhat relieved. He didn’t like girls? Did Mike’s comment actually mean something? What did he mean he doesn’t like girls?   
“Yeah, Will, I know. You’re just not there yet, because of the Upside-Down. I really didn’t mean what I said, I was just upset-”   
“No! Mike, it’s not the Upside-Down.” He paused, looking at Mike with some kind of intense passion and determination. The look on Mike’s face was confused. “I don’t like girls.” Oh. Was, was he saying what Mike thought he was saying?   
“Wait, you like?” His voice was quiet, questioning. Now he understood why Will was so fearful, and hurt by his comment. He hadn’t responded yet, maybe he wasn’t. Maybe Mike jumped to conclusions.   
“You.” Oh shit. Mike inhaled quickly and stumbled back a bit. “Uh, boys. I- I like boys.” The panic was back in Will’s eyes and Mike’s chest. He wasn’t even focused on the fact Will had just told him that he was gay. It wasn’t weird, so many people had bullied him for it. Mike had just assumed he wasn’t, that the bullies were wrong. Mike didn’t care that he liked boys. Maybe others would, but Will was Will. Nothing could change that. Expect…   
“I, I’m sorry?” Mike wasn’t sure how to react. Or feel. He just avoiding looking at Will, but when Will spoke again, he met his eyes. The panic, the fear, the hurt. The waver in Will’s voice, unsure.   
“I’m in love with you, Mike.” That made Mike’s knees weak with crushing sharrow. He sat down on the cold concrete. Will stumbled to sit in front of him, his hands weakly held out in front of him. For a moment they both looked at Will’s hand, remembering the feeling of Mike’s holding Will’s to comfort him. They both broke the gaze, Will staring at Mike as he turned to watch the rainfall. After a minute he turned back, and his nose collided with Will’s. He hadn’t noticed that Will moved closer. There was hope in his friend’s eyes, and Mike didn’t move. There was breath against his lips, and it felt familiar. Just like El, and that made Mike’s chest tense. Will didn’t move, but Mike knew what he wanted to do. He was just too scared.   
“Will, I’m sorry.” Tears started to stream again, and his friend’s hand was against his cheek. His other hand clenched to Mike’s shirt like he was the only thing holding Will up. For awhile Mike didn’t know what to say or do with his hands, he just watched Will cry again.   
“Please,” His voice was weak as he picked his head up, unable to look at Mike. And somehow Mike knew what he meant. So he lilted Will’s face toward his and nodded. It was weird. It felt different, empty. Will’s lips against Mike’s, his hand against his cheek. Mike softly kissed back and felt Will’s hand run through his hair, holding on. When Will leaned back, Mike noticed the wetness on his face from his friend’s tears.   
“I’m sorry.” He repeated. Because he was. Will’s hand dropped, and Mike took it. The two best friends sitting on the floor of the garage, looking at each other. “I love you, Will. But, not like that. I’m not-”   
“A fag?” Will sounded hurt, but Mike didn’t know what he did. He didn’t feel that way. So he squeezed Will’s hand and looked at him harder, trying to say something with a look.   
“No, Will, god no. I’m just, I’m not in love with you. I wish I didn’t have to hurt you. But I’m still your best friend, okay? Becoming your friend was the best thing I ever did, that won’t change.” Finally, Mike was crying. Unable to find his words. “We can play D&D whenever you want.”   
“I know you didn’t mean it, I just. It hurt, okay? All I want is to be able to like girls, but I just can’t. I know you’re sorry, I’m just scared. I just want to be like you and Lucas and Dustin.” 

“You’ll always be one of us, no matter what


End file.
